Knock me out with a shovel...

...I'm about to write fanfiction. Well, uh, I mean I have an idea for an ASOIAF fanfiction, where Jorah Mormont's son, Jarvan (not a canon character) ends up recruited as Ned Stark's bodyguard and his Essosi upbringing causes the whole intrigue to first fall apart and then rearrange itself. My idea is to present the changes as loose scenes, showing how Jarvan's influence on various people derails the original plot and gives new reasons for some plot points, so most of the things remain as they were and we still end up with the War of the Five Kings and a horde of pissed-off Dothraki led by Daenerys knocking on the door.

Some choice bits for a good start:
"Some men are willing to go through a sea of fire if the one they love is taken from them, never to be returned..."
"Debt that large cannot be paid. But there are other ways to get rid of it, like... killing the creditor."
"Sometimes, one man's hand wields the dagger, but another man's mind guides it. And whose mind guides this Hand?"
"This man is an animal! I wouldn't be surprised if lord Tywin has no idea what his bannerman is doing!"

Idea pile:
Cut up a bit to focus on the most important things
Michael J. West, Paranormal Investigator in: The Case of Uncle Herbert
Synopsis: a New York detective arrives to Boston to find out what really happened to his uncle, the mad scientist Herbert West.
Michael J. West, Paranormal Investigator in: Garlands of May
Synopsis: West is employed by a USAF test pilot to find out what is going on with his daughter, studying in a Maine college.
Michael J. West, Paranormal Investigator in: Dogs of August
Synopsis: Three Mafia flunkies mysteriously die, violently murdered by an unknown assailant. Their boss hires someone to find out who is responsible. But what West finds out is not exactly out of this world...
Michael J. West, Paranormal Investigator in: December Song
Synopsis: Plagued by nightmares and strange visions, West is forced to undergo a therapy in Ravencroft Asylum. While inside, he finds out even more strange things defying his view of the universe.
Bjorn Westlander, Retriever Agent in: Genesis (working title)
Synopsis: an introductory tale for the reboot of Bjorn's adventures - how he became a Retriever Agent and met his adventuring partners, Royal Assessor Angelo van Logenswaard and dwarven mercenary Collech Brengan.
Bad Blood
Synopsis: Our hero awakens hungover and wearing a blood-stained t-shirt. And that's not the only problem he must face...
A Strange Occurence of a Goth Girl at Nighttime
Synopsis: Michal meets a girl. She looks perfect. Michal's in trouble. She's not that perfect.
Texas Strimmer Massacre
A grizzled biker confronts a family of inbred psychopaths, trying to out-psychokill them. Saving clueless students involved. Something along the lines of "Hero of the Day".
Kurinto Itsuda in usual loadout.
Chibi Vampires - Viola, Sara, Mike and Alicia are done, still have Kriss, Jason, Tanaka and Johannes left.
Elliot Salem - just Elliot Salem. Maybe in a wee bit different loadout, but the man and the mask remain the same.
The Seal
Character lineup from my E.G. Crackpot High School (David, Wonderboy, Snakey, Dante, Mindy, Lydia, Audrey the Plant, Sememoto & Ukeyoshi)
Edward Cullen impaled and real vampires cheering around.
The Dress-up Mess-up



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[* that means "homies" in Polish]